i'm not a girl...i'm nothing. [long post]

this is something that i've really been holding on for too long. this post will be lengthy, because i'm long winded, and because i know people would be asking "why?" if i made it short.

as the title says, i am not a girl.

but, i am also not a boy.

i don't feel like i belong in either gender category, maybe somewhere in between.

which has caused a huge identity crisis for me throughout my life.

i am not cisgender, but i don't like to refer to it as transgender, 

as there would be know way for me to ever transition...

really, i am, and have always kind of been there.

i am gender neutral.

it took me a very long time to figure out what to call it.