I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate being here!!!! i'm done with it :( i hate it so much. i cant have fun. i can't be happy unless i can talk to nick and my phone is acting up. i try to get a hold of him and i barely can :(( i woke up early this morning to talk to him and i got to but not very much :( i text him after school, no reply, talked briefly while i was shopping then messages come a whole hour late :(
this morning i woke up late and the first words of the message i get it is "okay i give up" so of course you know i am freaking out....i have had some fun times with my family but i am still miserable because i cant talk to him :( why cant i just have both? why is there always has to be something to make me upset...i dont understand why there has to be always :( why cant i just be able to talk to him? why do i have to be poor and have bad phone service??
and the worst part is, his message cut off... "okay im giving up this sucks for me i feel so lonely i feel like im by myself cuz i only talk to you...and now that ur not here...well i love you so much i" .......then no continue text :( i am too afraid to know what else he said :( i'm scared :( i wanna go home :( its the day of the wedding and i dont even want to go now i just want to be home :'( someone sendme a plane ticket :( i miss my baby :'(

hey everyone! quick post sorry :( been doing work here at school so not really any time to blog :( i'll try to get on at lunch and post at least, i dont mean to leave you all hangin!

and nicko i love you :D just thought i'd remind ya ;D

byebye for now!

Poem - Everything Will Be Alright

a poem dedicated to all of the old friends that hurt me and think they need me back in thier life. you're all better off without me. this is for all of you. sort of a nice way of saying forget about me.


No matter what you think
No matter what you write
No matter how you see it,
Everything's gonna be alright.

You know you're not hated
You know you're still just young
You know right now you're jaded
that doesnt mean your days are done.

No matter how you hate it
No matter how hard you fight
No matter where you go,
Everything's gonna be alright.

You know you're not a bad person
You also know that you're not grown
You know i still understand you,
and i know you want that known.

No matter what you've loved and lost
No matter if you cant stand the sight
No matter if we're friends or not,
Everything's gonna be alright.

You know we can't be friends,
You know you'll have a better one than me.
You know i would still be happy for you,
so you should still be happy for me.

No matter what you've loved and lost

No matter if you cant stand the sight

No matter if we're friends or not,

Everything's gonna be alright.

Don't worry, it'll be alright.