Saturday, April 25, 2009

Story - Howling at a Concrete Meadow, Chapter 1 “I want to go on an adventure”

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Fresh out of class and fresh out of luck, I rush out of my fourth block class and trip up the stairs, yeah, just another normal unlucky day. I scroll the numbers through my head as I open the combination to my locker, seventeen, one, thirty-one, then grab my stuff and go. I have to speed to a short bus for my ride home everyday. Don’t look at me like that, I’m not retarded, but I am pretty close. Everyone on that bus is normal, except maybe Brenton.


I watched all of the houses stream past the bus window and my faded reflection on the glass. I sighed making a foggy little circle and drew a heart in it with my finger and watched it slowly disappear. “I know how that one feels,” I thought to myself. My ripped up Coby headphones are my pride and joy along with my mp3 player. Music soothes my soul. My battery was dying again, but it should last me until I get home. It always seems to go out near my favorite part of a really good song, but I guess that’s what I get for not using Duracell.



There’s only one more stop until mine. Of course, my batter runs out during my favorite Kittie song, “Paper Doll.” When I finally got off the bus, I tripped and fell. When I was crossing the street I tripped on the curb, then I tripped on the step in front of my door and smacked my head on the screen and almost fell backwards. Today is my unlucky day.



I got into the house, carefully enough not to fall, and went straight to the kitchen. I did my usual routine. I put down my bag, warmed up some leftover pizza, poured myself some Faygo in my favorite semi-transparent, green, wavy cup, grabbed the phone, turned on the boob tube and plopped on the couch.



I called Wambaugh, my best friend from school. Her official name is Katie, but it was changed to that when her parents adopted her. We talk about the most random subjects, such as how neat it would be to have teal pee. We would play the questions game and prank call people. I would do my retard voice and she would do the dialing. We seem to talk about boys a lot, and how cute and obnoxious they can be. We write each other notes between classes and pass them and draw hearts and stars all over them because we are just that cool. We even write the dates on them so we can remember what we talked about on what day, because I have bad short-term memory. She somehow figured out how to help me with it and I’m actually getting better at remembering things. I stay for days at her house; a sleepover is more like a vacation. We go to the mall all the time and eat chicken teriyaki and we even have a favorite place to sit. She’s one of those people you just know you will be friends with for the rest of your sorry life. She’s crazy, random, honest and fun. I couldn’t live without her.



A couple of hours later, my mom came home. The first thing she said to me was “did you clean the bathroom yet?” as she strutted into the door carrying in her purse and a bag of groceries. It made me mad. Not only did I clean the bathroom yesterday, she also never says hi. There are those rare Saturdays that she might greet me but that’s how I know when there's something wrong. That made me mad, I told her that too. She is too stubborn to believe me so she just told me to go get my sister from my grandma’s house. Its only two doors down so I don’t see why she can’t walk by herself, plus she’s almost 12 years old, but why does my mom have to be so mean? My mom hasn’t been laid in years, which must be why she’s so mean. I think she just needs to get it in so she can take out all of her frustration on something other than her children, mostly me. Sex is a logical answer.



“Bye Grandma,” my sister, Tehya yelled up the stairs then blew a kiss to our mother’s mother. We don’t call her that though, she’s already seventy-five and she doesn’t need to feel any older. I was named after my grandma, I’m Asberry the Fourth and she is the Third. I haven’t met the other two because, guess what? They're dead.



I waited for Tehya on Grandma’s front patio then she came up and pulled the door closed. A random brown moth flapped its wings in my face, so I did the only logical thing to do and karate chopped it. I walked Tehya home just liked Mami told me to. Sometimes it may same like I don’t, but I actually like the little gremlin. I actually asked my mom for a little sister for my birthday when I was three years old and I remember feeling her stomach and my sister kicking my hand. I remember feeding her grits, too. She sat on that little high chair in the corner of the dining room right by the kitchen door when we lived in Fort Campbell. I remember when she had a funny shaped head and a curly little Afro and Mami calling her a little bowl of ice cream. I think she was more of a little bowl of “I’m stealing everything that ever loved you except your dad.” We get along a lot better when my mom’s not home, since we can say whatever we want without getting smacked with a frying pan, or at least I can. She never gets hit, but she’s not as bad as me either. Neither of us said a word for the whole forty-seven seconds, because we didn’t feel like getting into a fight. There are just some of those days where you know you shouldn’t say anything to each other. I didn’t feel like getting into any arguments today anyways, I’ve been having a bad day.



We got into the house. The rule was that whoever went through the door last had to close and lock it. I came in first and my mom, or as I like to refer to as “master” yelled at me. I got mad and reminded her that Tehya was the last one in the door, not me then went upstairs and imprisoned myself in my room.



I stepped over all of the clothing on my floor and almost tripped over my mirror. This random chair was in the way, but its whatever. I looked over at my good old reliable Windows 95 and shook my head wondering why I still had the old piece of shit, but then I remembered I have had that computer since I was two years old and I love the games on it. Too bad I can’t turn it on. I pounced from the middle of my room onto my bed, my rooms not all that big. I peeped through my blinds and saw some cars go by. I could hear them too, since all of the cars here in Northbrook are loud. I picked up my guitar from the side of my bed and started playing a song that I wrote myself. Different things and people started winding in my head. They were the people I couldn’t live without.

They are my best friends. If they weren’t here for me I would’ve moved to Texas with my dad and my step mom or as my family likes to call “the woman.” I started to think about all of the old memories. The epic, 8th grade paper ball wars, getting Icees after school with Hannah, Kathy and Alix, walking home from school, and skipping lunch everyday because we weren’t wanted at our own lunch table. Good times, good times. It was only good because we were together. If we weren’t, life would’ve been pretty freaking difficult. I miss those days.



I tuned in the radio to WEBN and listened to that for a while. It’s pretty cool to listen to a radio station and actually be able to sing along to every song. I changed into my shorts and my tank top and sat on my bed and hugged my knees singing along to “Starless” by Crossfade. I sighed and fell backwards landing my head dead center of my pillow and picked up my lighter off of my chest of drawers. I turned of the lights and struck the lighter and watched the flame flicker, lighting up my entire room. I ran my finger through it back and forth then let it go. The room was pitch black. There weren’t even cars driving by lighting up my window shades. Nothing. I was listening to Jimi Hendrix and staring at the ceiling. The last thing I remember was “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” then I dozed off.



I had the weirdest dream that night. Hannah and I had gone to spend the night in this castle with about 4 other people but I didn’t know whom they were. We went into the two heavy wooden doors in height order from shortest to tallest, so I was first then Hannah. We all looked around and we met the other people. A really tall, young looking man walked down the stairs with a green top hat and tuxedo with purple eyebrows, mustache and beard that were curled at the tips. He stabbed his cane into the cherry wooden floor and smirked. “Welcome to The Conundrum,” he looked each one of us in the eyes “I hope you like your stay.” He took me by the hand with his soft, white gloves and led me to a wall to the side of the doors. The man pulled a handle from the bottom of my shoe and showed it to me. I looked at him in astonishment. He placed the handle onto the ground then showed me again. I was confused. He pulled up the handle and it became a door into the wall. He opened it and led me in. He sat me on a gorgeous, crimson canopy bed, kneeled, and kissed me on the hand. “This room is yours,” he told me. I began to blush as he looked at me with his mysterious, black eyes. He stood back up and looked at me again and smiled. “Just remember,” his leaned towards me and was less than an inch from my face and looked me in the eyes “Don’t get lost!” then he snapped right in front of my nose and he disappeared into two purple and green puffs of dust and left a bouquet of deep red roses on my lap. I sat them on the drawers next to me and looked in the mirror and brushed my hair out of my face. There was a note near the top of the mirror. I took it down.



I looked at the note. All it said was “Sweet dreams are made of these…” I didn’t get it so I just ignored it. I found a purple and green telephone dead center of the dresser; it just appeared there. I looked down at it and saw the names on lined up down the phone. I saw Hannah and pressed the button with her name on it and it started to ring.



“Hello?”



“Hannah?”



“Berry?”



“Yeah?”



“We should explore this place.”



“Yeah we should.”



“Its kind of creepy here”



“I know, dude. It’s like crazy. There's shit popping out of nowhere and that guy…who was he? He never told us his name.”



“He called himself ‘Anonymous.’ I guess the name fits him.”



“Ha, yeah. So where is your room at? We should meet in the main lobby where we first were.”



“I’ll meet you there then I’ll show you.”



“Okay, bye.” I hung up the phone and walked out the door. I shut it tight. I saw Hannah walk out of her door right across from mine. “Hey, what’s up?”



“That ‘Anonymous’ dude is freaking me out to like no end!”

“Ha, you too? He was being all nice and stuff and kissed my hand…it was really weird.”



“Yeah, I know. He did the exact same thing to me.”



“So, let’s go on an adventure! Hmm…where should we start?”



“How about the upstairs? We’ve only been on the bottom floor so far.”

“Sure, lets go.”



We started walking up the stairway through the middle of the house and found a room at the top of the stairs. We looked at each other then around at the scene around us. It was dark. The wide row of stairs split into two rows and then a hallway through the middle; two, large, cherry wood doors, one next to the other cascaded with drapery of deep purple and green. I could see the handles on the floor where all of the people could pull up their rooms. There was a large never-ending hole in the wall. I wondered what was in there. It looked like something had crashed through it. I heard a noise, like a deep groan. “Did you hear that?” Hannah shook her head “no,” so I thought it was nothing. I probably was nothing, so we walked away.



Hannah and I went up to the doors at the top of the stairs. My eyes glided upwards and around the perimeter of the doors then onto the floor. I caught a gaze at the handles. They were detailed, brass, fluid, and in the shape of question marks. I ran my finger from the top to the bottom then grasped it, then the other. I jerked the door and it slowly slid open. A ravishing dining room appeared right before our eyes. A table rose from the floor and chairs floated down from the ceiling. Women in white dresses placed plates, spoons and forks while the young girls in gray put glasses on coasters. Friendly spiders dropped down silver platters onto the tables and men in green suits opened them up. Hannah and I were swept into the room by little boys in purple shirts that sat us in our chairs and pushed us in. Anonymous crept in from the shadows of the back of the room. “Are you girls enjoying yourselves?” He tipped down his hat and pulled out 2 bottles of wine. He popped of the corks with his thumbs and poured some in our glasses as he exchanged looks back and forth between the two of us. I looked up at him; he tilted up my chin with his hand and had his face so close to mine I could feel his warm breath; it smelled of sweet cinnamon. “Your eyes,” he spoke softly and brushed my hair from my face, “they are of chocolate cascade, smooth as glass but glimmers as gold. Deep as the sea, and warm in a world so cold.” I blushed. He turned to Hannah and circled her chair, “And you,” she looked at him as he got closer to her and whispered “eyes like ice; Color so light, shape so sharp, but shines so bright.” He stood at the end of the table. We couldn’t take our eyes off him. He put out his cane centered in front of him and positioned his hands one on top of the other; two stainless white gloves. Two four-leaf clovers appeared on our laps. I picked mine up and cradled them in my hands then looked over at him wondering why they were there. “Good luck; drink up. You’re going to need it.” He snapped and disappeared. We drank our wine. It was like vineyard heaven in a glass. So smooth; just sweet enough not to make me cringe. I was a deep auburn shade, with little red-violet bubbles in the side of the glass. It rode smoothly down my tongue and tingled down the sides of my throat. I let the feeling overtake me, but soon after subliminal images crossed my mind. Scary things flashed before me, spirits, riddles, memories, colors, lightning…I became overwhelmed. I shut my eyes then opened them five seconds later and everything was fine again. I stared out the window then it all began to fade. Everything was a blur and shifting. My eyes drifted shut and all I heard was “Sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree?” and it echoed away with a scornful laugh then I woke up from my dream afraid and broke in a sweat and running my hands through my hair making sure I wasn’t dead. My eyes shifted back and forth hastily, then I calmed down and looked at the clock.



Its 4 a.m. on what still feels like a Friday,

I have an idea.

I need some time away,

My family and I,

Aren’t getting along.

Sure I could go to a friend’s house,

But that’s all the same.

I want to take Hannah with me,

I want to go on an adventure.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Poem - Remember Me

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Remember me when you go off on your own
and start lives and families

remember me when you become successful
and start careers and have jobs

remember me when you make it big
as an actress, singer or model

remember me when you make new friends
and know i'll still be here for you

remember me when you move far away
i'll be here waiting for you to come back

even though if you do, it wont be for me
Just please, remember me

Acrostic - Spring

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Sometimes we jump in
Puddles, memories of spring
Rain and mist
Invade our thoughts
New growth in this season creates
Good memories to make and share

Poem - Just Another Girl

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i thought the feelings were genuine
but i guess i was wrong
i thought you really loved me,
since you said it for so long
just another teenage heartbreak
for a girl so smitten
i really had a meaning
for every poem i had written
he was the first guy
to have my heart in a whirl
only to find out
i was just another girl...

Poem - Don't Cry To Me

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i've been here for you since the beginning
telling each other everything, mostly you
its not good to use secrets for blackmail,
next time you should think twice
don't talk to me
don't try for me
don't come to me
don't lie to me
and most of all
don't cry to me

Poem - Sea of Silence

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i stand on the shore
of a sea of silence
the waves crash
but i hear no sound
the water ripples
the sand is so tan
seagulls, i see calling
but i cant hear them
cars drive on the boardwalk
kids play in the sand
girls pound on the volleyballs
but still, i hear nothing
i want to hear something

Haiku - Fire

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flickering colors
heat up the world around it
red and yellows bloom

Poem - Fourth Grade Fireflies

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i sat on my boack porch
in fourth grade in July
fireflies shined brightly
lighting up the sky
the perfect shade of yellow-green
poked dots in the black night
all thanks to the fireflies,
10 pm was shinging bright

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Haiku - Cherry

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bright red, small and round
so small with a stem so long
bittersweet berry

Haiku - Ice

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frozen glitter shines
shimmering and glimmering
glistening all day

Haiku - Tulips

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tulips grow in spring
with colors so brightly wound
red, pink and yellow

Haiku - Sweet Sunrise

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mornings sweet sunrise
makes my morning beautiful
lighting up my day

Haiku - Runaways

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we have our reasons
runaways are people too
though it may not seem

Acrostic - Ville Valo

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Violence is not the answer for HIM
Its the art in him that makes it flow
Love in his
Lyrics, cause me to cry
Emotions everlasting, it flows from my eyes

Victorious he is
At capturing me
Lyrically, like an
Overdose

Poem - Flying Kites

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i wish we could be together
flying kites forever
in such good weather
feeling so clever
pulling the lever
i wish we could be together
flying kites forever

Poem - Help

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how can i ever be sure?
you don't tell me as much as i tell you
how can there be much more?
if what you say isn't true

trust is something i need
and i don't say this with greed

are you okay?
please tell me how you feel
i want to know you
the way you know me

Acrostic - Try

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Try to
Remember
Your feelings matter to me

Poem - Sunday Mornings

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i sit in the booth with Mr. Larry and Sam
sometimes Kelley's up here too
i stare at the wires on the sound board
and adjust them as i have to do
i listen to the choir sing
Larry makes words and pictures on the screen
i listen to the pastor preach
then, again, the people sing
i move the switches up and down
i press buttons and turn nobs
i usually forget to mute the choir when they're done
i turn on the music for the congregation to leave by
and when everythings over
i get a "good job" handshake from Sam
then i leave
and i wait for next Sunday
to do the same thing
all over again

Thought - Strands

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just like there are strands of DNA,
there are strands of hair,
and they both effect how a person looks.

Poem - 3 am to 5

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i was staring out my window
sitting on my bed
watching cars pass by at 3 am
hugging my pillow near my head
i couldn't sleep
i couldn't try
i couldn't help
but wonder why
its raining on this lovely night
the moon didn't come out tonight
its morning but it isn't light
why a cat's eyes glow so bright
i'm still staring out my window
sitting on my bed
watching cars pass by at 5 am
hugging my pillow near my head

Monday, April 20, 2009

Poem - Cry For Me

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cry me a raindrop
cry me a puddle
cry me a rainstorm
cry me a stream
cry me a brook
cry me a canal
cry me a waterway
cry me a river
cry me a strait
cry me a gulf
cry me a sea
cry me an ocean
cry me an everything
thats how much pain you caused me

Just Thinking....

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Sometimes my mind wonders off into to odd places. I think about really random subjects. Today i was sitting at the computer during lunch at school typing poems on here and randomly started to think, "why am i sitting here and not eating lunch?" Then remembered i didnt have lunch money and started typing again. Then i wondered why my Creative Writing was absent then i wondered how different the class would be if i was teaching it instead of the teacher....I'm guessing everybody thinks about things like this, do they not?


My friend Chloe and i had to make up 5 characters for Creative Writing as an assignment and it went nuts. I wrote 2 then she made 2 and we made the 5th one together. Our characters varied from homeless ballet dancers to NASCAR drivers with a tree fairy in his yard. THEN the 5th character was a runaway inmate from the "isle of the lost" and he swims to the US and steals clothes from Minnesota and hitch-hikes all the way from South Dakota to Cincinnati and gets chased down the street naked by the NASCAR driver for sneaking in his house and using his shower and meets the 2 homeless dancers in an abandoned nursing home where they become best friends and buy a house together...Stories can become amazing with 2 talented minds, lol. Our Imaginations definately leaped bounds today.


To tell you the truth, I'm desperately craving Spicy Tuna Rolls, Pancakes, spinach pizza, root beer and mango ice cream. I dont know why this happens, but i get the wierdest craving combos. The other day all i wanted was pickles, cheese and waffles, Then i woke up at 4 am wishing i had watermelon with salt...SALT! SALT!?! Why with SALT?! See what i mean, my taste buds are crazy, i might wanna get that checked out....nah, i'm fine. :)




Just to let you know, if you are actually reading this, i'm wondering why.

Sincerely, Berry

Poem - A Day In The Life Of Love

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the day is dieing
the clouds are crying
the sun is trying
to see them lying
under the tree
with dirty knees
playing keys
and watching the seas
her in his caress
wearing a bright dress
with a care; none the less
her hair is a mess
on this rainy day
in a place far away
in the sand: they lay
everything is okay
here is what i'm thinking of:
this is love.

Poem - You Deserve Much Better Than This

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he visited me that night,
i was nervous with fright
for what i was about to do
would very much change his life

he sat at the table
happy as i could see
and for almost the whole time
he was looking at me

i went to the kitchen
to fix our drinks
i poured in the wine
and then i think

i put poisin in one
none in the other
i set them on the table
then we talked to each other

we made a toast
"till death do us part"
it made me so sad
to break his innocent heart

we drank our wine
after the toast
he said "i love you"
and i fell from the dine.

he comes to see me
but doesnt know why i died
i kept in what i thought
for he would've denied

what i wanted to say is:
"you deserve much better than this"

Poem - Lovesick

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she thought she could see the love in his eyes
but he just lured her
her biggest fear yet her hearts desire
lovesick; you couldnt have cured her
he locked her heart in a box of steel
and never told her
binded with a titanium seal
he couldve let go of her
she tried to run but she could not hide
he always found her
she searched to find her heart confined
he never alloud her
her eyes were like a river run dry
but he still held her
unaware she was being buried alive
as he felt her
nine days later she lies in bed
now shes much colder
when she chose him she had chosen her death
he should have told her

Poem - Blind

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you've got me so blind that i could not see
my own hand in front of me
in bright summers light
or a cold winter's night
i cant see things through

telling me your sweet lies
then hearing my cries
but when you held me close
it was like a drug overdose
you had my soul on fire
you were my deepest desire
was that not enough for you?

and through all the pain
you made me fall in love
like it was from the sea deep
to the skies above
what i think could be fate
is it love or hate?
i dont know what to do

you've had me so blind
for the longest time
and you had me thinking
everything was fine
but you were really just killing me
from the inside
are you satisfied?

Poem - A Saturday Snow

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snow in my hair
so soft and dear
i can hear the wind whispering
softly in my ear
little brown birds
crossing the paths
off the little round footsteps
i left in the grass
the sky is light purple
and bleak shades of gray
all of the children
came outside to play
with my hands in my pockets
and knees to the ground
i could see the snow bright
as i looked around
i scooted on over
to lean against a tree
and above all else
happy as can be
but in the time being
feeling so free
i couldn't help but want him
to be right there next to me

Poem - Butterfly Wings

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i cry every night
i cry every day
my tears are like our friendship
slowly falling away

i miss the time we had together
those precious times we share
those times riding bikes together
with the wind blowing through our hair

our friendship flew
with butterfly wings
we were each others
everythings

now we live
worlds apart
and you do hair
and i do art

i travel for miles
to see your smiles
but you cant take an hour from your day
to walk and meet me half way

it seems we've tripped
harsh words slipped
you replaced me like i knew you would
our butterfly wings have ripped

Poem - Apathy

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no feelings
no remorse
i've lost all hope
for you of course
...
you join hands with me
you abandon me
you confide in me
and reside with me
you cry with me
you said you'd die with me
...
all those times i wondered
what i'd do without you
...
now the answer is clear to me
what i'd do
is what you see

Poem - Our Love

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our love
is young
like us

our spirits
are young
like us

our voices
are young
like us

our kiss
is young
like us
~
our words
are young
like us

our hugs
are young
like us

our times
are young
like us

our love
is young
like us

Poem - Filled with Doubt

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i don't know what this is about
i'm filled with doubt
should i stay or should i go
as of now, i dont know
i'm here alone
i should have known
you would all leave

some things are just too good to be true

Poem - Porcelain People

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here is something not everyone knows
people are made of porcelain
no matter what's painted on the outside,
it will still shatter when it falls
no matter what a person
looks like
acts like
or feels like
we are all still
valueable
precious
and breakable

Acrostic - Mine

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My territory
Is something i would like to keep
Never take it from me
Everyone tries

Acrostic - Alive

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As a
Living person
I have found
Value in
Everyday life

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Haiku - Love of the Swan

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the love of the swan
is of elegant nature
graceful as she is

Haiku - Tears of a Clown

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the tears of a clown
are the saddest tears of all
its such irony

Haiku - Rain

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the tears of angels
fall onto the ground lightly
yet still make things grow





If you like rain, check this out.
I think its beautiful
and peaceful and calming.
Look at it here on orisinal.
You'll like it :)

Haiku - The Storm

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thunder and lightning
blankets of rain tuck me in
nightmares may follow

If You're Bored...

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I am BORED— seriously you have no idea. Its 3 am and everyones asleep and I'm sitting at the computer writing poems and playing Kyodai Mahjongg. I actually recommend it, i've been playing it for years. Well, TTYL!

Poem - Magic

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this poem is actually about my friend Hannah's creepy black cat.
his eyes glow
like a neon light
his fur is dark
like the blackest night
his body slithers
like a snake
his claws are sharp
like a nail or stake
his shape is elegant
like that of a swan
but he is jumpy
like a young fawn
he can hear
everything, every day, every hour
his evil glare
causes us to cower
when he barked
it seemed tragic
i now see
this cat is Magic

Poem - Show Me You Love Me

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Please show me you love me
whisp me away and kiss me like you mean it
tell me something true
and hold me in your arms
put your face against mine
let me feel your warmth in this cold world
brush my hair out of my face and make me feel pretty
show me mercy, i don't mean to anger you
make me laugh and be sweet
only tell me what i want to hear if you mean it
hold my hands and play with my fingers
make it seem like you want me here
Please show me you love me

Acrostic - Love

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Let me tell you something that's real
Over my head is now my heels
Very much, i love you so
Every day our love grows

Acrostic - Secret

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Something you keep from someone else
Everyone's got them
Catching one may be hard
Resisting isn't always a good thing
Everyone's got them
Tell me your secret

Poem - A Spring Day In Second Grade

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light rain mists from a gray sky
flowers blow in the sweet spring breeze
butterflies flutter and fly away
squirrels run up into the trees
blue birds sing thier happy song
brown bunnies hop across the garden
the dog next door frollicks throughout the yard
finches hopped in shallow puddles
but i scared them away by accident
i ate watermelon on Grandma's back porch
and let the spring air soothe me
as hours passed, the rain had stopped
and i continued to enjoy nature

Acrostic - Afraid

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Afraid, i am
For my life sometimes
Remembering
All of these bad memories
Is taking a toll on me
Differences unresolved

Poem - A Sorrow Filled Sunday Night

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please dont make me cry again
it was the worst feeling
i'll try not to make you mad again
this hurt is hard of healing
without you i go crazy
i became numb and lazy
paranoid and scared
wary, thats how i feel