Tuesday, August 24, 2010

my horoscope;

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You may find yourself getting sidetracked by all sorts of weird people or thoughts today -- so don't worry too much about getting all your work done. You may encounter a new idea that works well for you.

pshh, tell me about it..
i had the most horrible dream last night ever..
so now everything is botthering me.
again.
i wish all this stuff would just stop,
all of these girls...
and my jealousy...
i've  been deprived from Nicko for so long,
and its really starting to bother me alot
and i know he hates it
he always says i'm complaining...and i am
not on purpous, cuz i dont like it..
there's just things i dont understand
and i want to know, so i ask
and i get frustrated if i dont get a straight answer
i'm one of those people who need an explanation
because if i dont get one, i'll assume the worst.
i stopped assuming the best because i was always wrong when i did that.
and i would rather be right than have my hopes shot down.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Poem - Untitled 7

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should i stop hoping?
or maybe stop trying,
not sure what is the word,
but i should, because i'm so not little anymore.

maybe i shouldnt be so sensitive,
things aren't fair for me,
but since there is a chance that they could be,
should i not try?

i get scared and worried,
frustrated and mad and sad
and never know how to let it out
because i dont even know where i am
but i guess it can be okay to cry
for it is not my downfall,
only a waterfall
those can possess beauty,
and maybe so do i

and if i give up, i may never know
but what should i do?
it's never my way, no matter what
and i cant be walked over for my whole life,
i need to get up and take charge,
but i cant..

i cant tell you what to do
in my mind, you are still older than me
so i have to do what you say
and since i care what you think..
i cant be so mean...
and i cant say threats like
"do this or i will leave"
for the fear that you might just let me go
and it not harm you any..
and that would hurt me the most...