Saturday, May 7, 2011

LaTiN FeSTiVaL ~


yesterday wasnt really the best day...but i tried to have fun with it anyway. i went to the Latin Festival downtown and it was alot of fun :) i love being there. The best parts were the music and the food. you all know that i L-O-V-E food...! The first thing there that was cool was the music. right when we got there a band started to play called Tropicoso, and i really liked therm. i'd heard them before at a music festival but i wasnt at the front and couldnt hear so well. it was fun, i didn't dance though. i don't dance with anyone but nick unless they are my dad's family. There was also a guy walking around singing and playing guitar, i call him the mariachi man :) i got a picture with him. he had a really nice voice and always looked so happy!. everybody was taking his picture lol, he was really friendly as well. he was probably the most authentic part of the entire festival.
as you see also got shaved ice :) it was amazing too! they had my favorite flavor, pina colada! and yes i know, it is a alcoholic drink, my mom always let me have the virgin kind at restaurants after i sipped some off of hers once when i was little. my mom got one too but she didnt like it, so she gave it to tehya. i have a 14 year old sister in case you guys didnt know. i have some new readers, i'm at 60 followers now :) so hi you guys :D be sure to check out my about me, tag and leave comments and i'll reply :)
the shaved ice was super yummy. i want it again >.< but one of the things i first thought of getting was a churro. one of my favorite snacks as a kid. its deep fried dough drenched in sugar and filled with cream, caramel, or chocolat. mmm <3 we got a whole bag to take home!! 2 are filled with caramel for me and

after churros i couldnt even eat all of mine. xD for some reason i cannot eat a whole one anymore. when i was a child i could eat as many as i wanted and never get sick. i always got the chocolate kind when they used to have them at Taco Bell. I put away my churro and we looked at some standing shoppes. at one stand they sold these gorgeous wooden flutes. i had to have one! 3$ and it sounds so soothing to play :) we also bought alot of little pins for my family for when we go up to wisconsin this month for Manuel's wedding. i got a pin with a llama on it :) if you ddidn't know, i have a love for Llamas, Alpacas, Goats, Giraffes, Sheep and Buffalo. I think they are just adorable creatures :) i'll show you the Llama pin when i wear it.. after the shoppes we got more delicious food. i had one of my favorite things ever. Tostada :) This tostada is the best kind to get. I am a seafood lover, i am not much into livestock or poultry meats. 

mmm, it was so great! 2 slices of lime, toasted corn tortilla, shrimp, octopus and tilapia with pico de gallo......and my favorite, avocado <33 yummy! i found out that in some other countries, they actually use avocado in cold drinks. how do you all eat them? i slice them with salt or eat it on toast. it is great on italian toast :) it's just really hard to find avocado here. they are expensive sometimes..
my sister got a balloon and din't wanna hold it , so i tied into my hair xD i look like a child in that pic. it looks like i have no boobs! D: which is odd, because i have a relatively large chest for my size ..xD
mami got herself a little gift too, she bought a shaker. when you shake it, it sounds kinda like water. it's really really coo; :) my sis got a little necklace with a moon on the chain. after we walked around a little bit more, mami got herself another present...margarita cocktail in a can has tequila in it a.k.a. not for me lol i am not of age to drink...but they had to open them and i had to hold one of the cans when we were going back to the car. i got really funny looks because i look so young, but in reality i am only 2 and a half years away from being at drinking age xD i hate looking so young!
this is the only time i ever saw it in a can, usually when i hold a can i think it is soda and i accidentally sipped some >.< it tasted like a tangier sprite at first but the alcohol hit me a second later and i was like BLEHHH!!! no more of that for me! i forgot i wasnt holding a soda >.< uggh bleh bleh bleh 

i do not drink if you could not tell lol i did before but it was a long time long ago that tequila and me no longer get along obviously lol yuck >.< my mom offered me a can and i said NOOO! when i was 13 she said i can drink when i am with her or my dad when i am 16. i guess i grew out of alcohol xD i think it is a good thing though :) i don't need it ^_^

last but not least, at the very end before we went to the car, we watched the folk dancers from panama. very simple dances, but no matter what age they are, they are always moving thier hips. lol you go girls! as they say in spanish, si se puede! ;D  it was much fun. i am sort of happy that i went...

after we left, we went to check out planet dance. i really like thier studio alot. the floor is green! ee!! i cant wait to dance thier :) the teacher and her husband were so friendly to me! and they have performance oppourtunities...yes yes yes! it is perfect :) i HAVE to go there...!
here's some pictures from the car to conclude my post. enjoy xD

i really like my hair!


Thursday, May 5, 2011


i said how my basement was flooding and it ruined everything. guess what else was down entire art's all ruined. each and every piece. that portfolio was for college, to get me in. now, i have nothing. and no one gives a shit about it but me. no one one really cares about me, i'm crying my eyes out looking at all of my mold-soaked papers and paintings, weeping and sobbing uncontrollably, and who was there to hold me? nobody. who was there to talk to me? nobody. no one was even outside. the loneliness just killed me more. and nick doesnt want me to go to art school anyway so i guess my portfolio being completely destroyed is a good thing.
being an artist has been my dream literally since i was 4 years old. my mom threw it all away. and she doesnt care. instead, she says hurry up and get a job and get out and threatens to hit me, because i'm upset that she ruined my future.. fuck anyone who doesnt care. i give up
just like everyone's expected since i was 13, i'm not gonna do anything with my life. i was raised poor and i'll die poor. life's all about death anyways right? what's the fucking point? i'm just at the end of my rope.. the next thing that upsets me is going to end me. i'm really getting worked up and i never release all of my feelings so they blow out on once. and i dont release them because i cant. fuck highschool and fuck college i just wanna get a job and leave. and if i do graduate which i probably wont i'll have to take a fucking year off to do a bunch of shit artwork becase i'll have no fucking inspiration from this shit happening. i'll do a painting series called "death" with paintings of my mom dying in different ways and reminders of how much i hate her and each thing that made me feel that way. i really do hate my life right now...sounds cliche, but i really do.

its my senior year,
i missed my homecoming. my prom. no art classes. no real friends. no job. no money. no brain. no hope. no football games, basketball games, baseball games, no talent show, no play...bad birthday. bad birthday weekend...nothing going my nothing.

i just have to sit here and wait for good things to happen,
because i cant make them happen.
i have no more patience, i'm fucking sick of waiting
i'm sick of being walked on and put down
i'm sick of being told what the fuck to do
so fuck it

someone fucking hire me already
i want to get the fuck out of here

i really almost ran away today, back to the falls where i always ran away. my spot under the rock is still there, and i wanna go back and sleep there...

but most of all, i missed my cat.. that's what i needed the most..i really did say "little scotty" while i was crying..but he's just made everything worse..i don't wanna wake up after tonight..i'm so done with my life, i really am

Monday, May 2, 2011