Friday, May 21, 2010

Songs Left Unexplained #7: Sigillum Diaboli

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a great finish to CD Razorblade Romance by my favorite Finnish 5,
Burton, Gas, Mige, Linde and Ville...better known as HIM
this song Sigillum Diaboli is one of me and Nick's favorites, its a hard song
and it sounds amazing, the way Ville sings it is just so...ahhh *daydreams*
........anyway
i never thought about the lyrics until now, and i was reading them again
it kind of helped me understand what Nick has been trying to tell me
but of course i am delusional...
so here is another song meaning from me, and revelations i had :)
Nick, i love you <3
I can see your sad face and your pitiful lies
Don't have the strength to carry your heavy load of life
I'm your Christ and I want you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do

oh

I can see through your eyes, spill your tears for me
I'll lift the burden from your shoulders, you just have to believe
I'm your Christ and I want you
This world's not for hearts and you know it as well as I do

Oh as well as I do
Oh as well as I do
Just as well as I do
Oh as well as I do
Oh as well as I do

Oh, so
I'm your Christ to die on you
I just woke up hears and you know it as well as I do
I'm your Christ to die on you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do

Oh, so you've come from above
and you say you want it all
and I kill myself for your love
I'm killing myself for you, 'cause yes you want love

I can see your sad face, your pitiful lies
Don't have the strength to carry your heavy load of life
I'm your Christ and I want you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do
I'm your Christ to die on you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do

Oh, yes you do
Oh, yes you do, my Darling
Oh, yes you do..oh
Oh, yes you do, oh my Love
so....

now for this..

I can see your sad face and your pitiful lies
Don't have the strength to carry your heavy load of life
this reminds me of what nick tells me all the time. that im lying to myself and that im better than alot of people and dont notice, and he's right i do have talent but i as he says "sell myself short" because i dont see it as well myself. then with bad stuff happening me and little things getting to me, its hard for me to carry on with life
I'm your Christ and I want you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do
he has saved me from alot and helped me through so much and then when things get to the best, something tries to break us apart and we both see it. but i wont let anything tear us apart

I can see through your eyes, spill your tears for me
I'll lift the burden from your shoulders, you just have to believe
back to what i said before...he wants me to see myself the way he sees me. and no matter how much i cry he's still going to tell me the same thing, that im the beautiful and amazing but that i think it. and then when i do, i wont take all the little things so hard and i'll be happier
I'm your Christ and I want you
This world's not for hearts and you know it as well as I do

Oh as well as I do
Oh as well as I do
Just as well as I do
Oh as well as I do
Oh as well as I do

Oh, so
I'm your Christ to die on you
I just woke up hers and you know it as well as I do
I'm your Christ to die on you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do

Oh, so you've come from above
and you say you want it all
and I kill myself for your love
I'm killing myself for you, 'cause yes you want love
he's my angel...i'll do anything for him


I can see your sad face, your pitiful lies
Don't have the strength to carry your heavy load of life
I'm your Christ and I want you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do
I'm your Christ to die on you
This worlds not for hearts and you know it as well as I do

Oh, yes you do
Oh, yes you do, my Darling
Oh, yes you do..oh
Oh, yes you do, oh my Love
so....

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Songs Left Unexplained #6: Disarm Me (With Your Loneliness)

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by the end of all of these unexplained songs, i will probably have reviewed every HIM cd.
this song is off of thier latest album Screamworks: Love in Theory and Practice
this meaning is from a very recent situation and i saw this song as a foreshadowing..

The promise of heaven pushed us right back to hell
turn three sevens into three sixes again
and you laugh at my face when i told you how much it hurts and said
Disarm me with your loneliness just like always before and
deceive me at my emptiness telling me how you love
you keep on tempting me to go on whatever the cost
to witness the prettiest flower in the wicked to dust
so ill break all the rules and this endless game once called love for you
disarm me with your loneliness just like always before and
deceive me at my emptiness
telling me how you love
me with all your heart no more
disarm me with your loneliness just like always before
disarm me with your loneliness just like always before
deceive me at my emptiness telling me how you love me with all your heart your heart no more
tell me how much it hurts my love
tell me how my kiss can change your world
no more
tell me how much it hurts to be alone
now believe that you hurt me with all your heart
no more

here's my thoughts..

The promise of heaven pushed us right back to hell
turn three sevens into three sixes again
two perfect lovers are being torn apart.parents being "the promise of heaven" to me because they created him and he is my heaven. they have taken him away from me and now pushed me back into a state where i am alone...without my love i feel incomplete, but not completely because i know that he will always love me and is there waiting for me.but they dont realize how much they are hurting us..and me..
and you laugh at my face when i told you how much it hurts and said
the possible reaction if i ever told them how i feel about this..im not sure they would care
Disarm me with your loneliness just like always before and
deceive me at my emptiness telling me how you love
they have continuously grounded him throughout the year and it hurts me. they are nice to me in person but i have heard them discourage him and when you do that, how are you showing love that way? now they've made me alone again...i want to tell them how much i love him
you keep on tempting me to go on whatever the cost
to witness the prettiest flower in the wicked to dust
one time when he got grounded the first time this year in october, he told me to go on without him just because we couldnt see eachother or talk...but i refused
so ill break all the rules and this endless game once called love
for you
just like i always have and will if i have to...i dont care if i have to sneak out and go to Olympian club behind his house at 5 am to see him before school or at 11 at night just to kiss him through the back yard gate, i will.
disarm me with your loneliness just like always before and
deceive me at my emptiness
telling me how you love
me with all your heart no more
that 2 lines is what im afraid to hear...i dont want him to stop loving me. and this song has always been iffy to me because i felt like it was warning me something and now i know...and im scared
disarm me with your loneliness just like always before
disarm me with your loneliness just like always before
deceive me at my emptiness telling me how you love me with all your heart your heart no more
tell me how much it hurts my love
tell me how my kiss can change your world
no more
tell me how much it hurts to be alone
as soon as i see him, i just want to know that he is hurting and missing me as much as i miss him and make sure he still loves me...he said he will love me until the end and promise he will never let me go.
now believe that you hurt me with all your heart
no more
when i see him i wont hurt anymore..

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Poem - Living With Grandma

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dictating the small bird and all of its mockings
walking through the woods in her brown striped stockings
picking up wild onions to bring to the clubhouse
to pretend that its bedding and that she is a mouse
eating dry cereal from a Blue Willow bowl
and making her shoes talk through a rip in the sole
riding her bike without leaving the driveway
running through the sprinkler thinking of running away
combing tangles out of that hair, so long; it took so long
crying when the brush rips out chunks, and felt wrong
swinging high on the swings at school
and climbing trees, because she thought it was cool
imaginary dreams and imaginary things
not being allowed to pick up the phone when it rings
watermelon and cantaloup on hot summer days
then walks in the rain with a big pink umbrella befor the foggy haze
playing with rollie-polies and planting beans in the garden
getting caterpillars and watching thier cacoons harden
picking peaches from the backyard tree, but never ate them
the across-the-street neighbors were mean, but she couldnt hate them
not a single friend in the whole neighborhood
just a sister and a navy sweater with a hood
but still, back then, all was good