Saturday, December 15, 2012

Painting - { re } entering [[+timelapsed video]]

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for the first time, i've made a video of myself as i paint.
this is also a canvas that i made myself,
foamcore, staples and some tape.
you see this photo as it is, two souls reaching for eachother
you see the passion, the longing, the hope in thier body language
but look at this photo from afar,
and it is also a broken heart..

things are hard in the heart department lately as well..

Nicko and i are starting to get better and he inspired me to try painting again. this is my first creative piece since i started college. hope you enjoy it..

Thursday, December 13, 2012

i'm always mad now.

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i'm done with everyone forreal.
alot of shit has been going on these past few weeks.
oh, you didn't know? didn't ask either.
i hate how i'm always there for people to listen and help when they have a problem(s), 
but no one ever asks about mine. 
and when i even mention that i'm having issues,
 they act like it's miniscule compared to theres.
you wouldn't even know how to compare our issues.
they're totally different.
and considering you don't know even what problem i'm having, 
you don't have any right to compare.
i'm tired of so many people treating me like shit.
i try so hard to be nice to everyone and try my best NOT to make any kind of mistakes that would make anyone mad, but of course, i always find a way to piss SOMEONE off.
i can't stand it.
it seriously drives me off the wall crazy.
i have been fighting my every nerve not to go off on people lately.
but i swear the next person that decides to talk me own is getting alot of fucking words and they won't like it.
believe it or not, HEY, i can do that shit too!
i've never been into revenge, but being nice is only making things worse.
so you can thank yourselves for turning me into the biggest bitch known to humanity. i have a way with words and they weren't meant to be used for bad things..
but i go by the golden rule and i always have..
so if i'm nice to you, it's because i want you to treat me nicely
if you're not, for no goddamn reason, and i want you to go the fuck away and not talk to me,
then i'm going to stop being so nice, and act like i don't want to fucking talk to you.
and whenever you decide to stop being a jerk to me,
if you say sorry, i'll most likely forgive you and things will be fine again
but no one ever says sorry so it looks like i'm just going to hate alot of people.

i wish i had thin lips so my kissyfaces were cute :( i look like a blowfish..

i don't deserve all this stupid bad treatment from people
so i'm not going to take it anymore
wanna be friends?
be my friend.
don't like me?
then fine. be civil or be a dick,
and you'll get the same back.
i'm done.