Poem - I'm Fine

from independant
to dependant
that is what happened to me

where did i go?

solitude versus loneliness
and the right side wins
but it shouldn't be the right side

what am i now?
i am by myself

i hold in my feelings
and i cant let them out
i don't want to make you mad
and i don't want to cry
and i cant cry to you
but i cant cry to anyone else
you're the only one that would understand

i hate holding it in
but i would hate to let it out
niether is good, but i have to hide that i'm hurt
it's not supposed to bother me.

now i have a half-fake confidence
and i know how to use it
but i'm having a guilt trip over lying
lying to both you and myself


but you already know,
you know that i'm not fine.


i don't want to hide anymore
but i don't want to let it out
i don't want to go crazy
even though i already am
and i don't want you to go
and i don't want to push you away
and i don't want you to think i am insane


even though you already know that i am.

i just want you to be mine.
i want to feel like you're only mine.

i want to not worry anymore.

i just want you to hold me.


will you?