✎ ＲｅａｌｉｔｙＣｈｅｃｋ✔－Life Update!! [long post]

 I haven't updated in a while, so i owe you guys a post!

life has been  lately & i'm lovin' it 

1st & 4most: i finally got my driver's license!!! 

it took me 3 tries but i finally did it...i failed the first two the same exact way...stupid maneuver ability. i hit the same cone both times. The second test, i probably would have passed, but the supervisor i had for the test was a massive dickhead. His aura was like totally toxic, it made me completely uncomfortable from the moment i met him and freaked me out. Thankfully, the woman i had for my 3rd test was the polar opposite! She was so sweet and patient, and just all around lovely. She made sure i was comfortable and was encouraging me the whole time, it was rad! I didn't score perfect, but i did pass...i was shocked, i thought i couldn't do it!

i was really bummed about failing the first couple of times, i'm the sorest loser imaginable. But regardless, i went to see my favorite local band preform and that actually made it better. Turns out Matt (Sins of Motion's bassist) failed his the same way i did, we hit the same cone...that was the first time i was ever able to laugh about it. When it comes to failing anything at all i get so depressed, like completely in a rut. I can never find anything good when i'm like that, so that was so cool and made me feel a little better.

a couple shows later (literally two, i think) i went to see them again...i was still a little upset about it taking me so long to pass, but more than that, i was so excited to tell everyone i drove there, and they seemed to be as stoked as i was! Now it's in the history of my life, whenever i tell anyone where the first place i drove to was, i get to say it was a Sins of Motion show.

i've seen that band so many times now, i think the count is now up to 11, so Saturday would be #12.

they finally have a single out now, you can buy it here for a buck :)

i really do love those guys, that's why i've seen them so many times...which isn't something that happens much with local bands. I feel like most of our local scene is either metalcore, pop-punk, acoustic or folky stuff...i'm not really into any of that. I don't know how to really describe their genre...there's so much to it, to me. All of them are so different which i think is what really makes them unique. The most obvious things i can point out are the first things i noticed the first time i saw them in May...their vocalist (Nathan) used to sing pop-punk, which i think is obvious from his singing style, and it's interesting yet totally works. Then they have Rikki, this amazing guitar player, who happens to like a lot of oldschool metal/hard rock. I could tell the second i he started playing a solo, then i saw him wearing a Motley Crue shirt once and i was like "who is that guy?" As it turns out, he's into sleaze...literally the first young person i've ever actually met that likes the modern bands. He's definitely one of the coolest people i've ever met. There's also about a 10 year difference between the oldest (Justin, the second guitarist) and youngest member of the band, so they're just all over the place. Their drummer (Jason) is only 16 and he kills it!

They're all really nice guys, i hung out with Matt, Jason, Nathan and his girlfriend at the last show, we went to get pizza...i forgot how awkward i was around people. When Nate asked me to go, my brain was like "!!!!" because no one ever actually asks me to hang out, and i don't even know when the last time was that i went somewhere with a group of people. I got all anxious while ordering (of course, go me) but thankfully, it was forgotten about. It was pretty fun, i'm glad i wasn't too terribly weird lol

They also got new merch at the show before this one, so that day was the debut of their patch being on my favorite vest

Rikki approves haha

Also cool, i had my sister listen to "Anthem of the Romantic" and she loved it! Right after she heard it, she said "okay...i'll go to a concert with you sometime." I'm so excited! She doesnt leave the house too often, especially not with me, and we haven't been to a concert together in like 10 years. She also wants to make fan art (she's an artist as well) for them, i think they'll love it. I want her to meet them first so she can really capture their personalities. I'm planning to take her to their first headlining show in May :)

 

I also went to see another local band recently called Underestimate, who played with them a couple times. I met a girl named Connie who's boyfriend is in the band, and she invited me to come see them...i actually went!

As some of you might know...there was about 2.5 years where i didn't really talk to or hang out with anyone, which left me with loads of social anxiety that i still sort of don't know how to deal with. Most of that anxiety lies online (messages, mostly) so i'm easing into creating friendships and stuff.

I went to the show and had a pretty rad time. poor Connie actually got hit in the pit, maybe the smallest pit i've ever seen, by the biggest guy in the room. It was an accident of course, but he knocked her out for a second. It was kinda scary, her eyes were dialated and she busted her lip. I don't move a lot during shows these days, so i made sure i had her covered. It sucked seeing my friend get hurt like that :( but i'm glad she was okay afterword...took it like a champ!

My friend Ashley was there too, turns out they knew eachother. I love Ashley, and part of the reason why is that she reminds me a lot of myself when i was younger. She was headbanging the whole show, moshing, jumping around and just all-around fun and outgoing. I miss being that way. I spent so long censoring myself because i was so tired of the way people treated me when i was happy, that i got permanently sad. I'm trying to work my way out of that now...it's almost like i saw myself from the outside looking in and was like "wow, i used to be so awesome." I hope that we see eachother again soon, and that she rubs off on me. Even the one shift we had together at Journeys prior to this was enough to make an impression on me. She's such a wonderful person!

Speaking of Journeys...i was going to quit that place. When the first left, i was a Key (3rd in charge/just above regular part timers)and had to help our Comanager as an assistant manager while he managed, we didn't have a manager for a month. When we got the new manager, i got demoted from Key Holder to Associate. Basically i went from working 50 hour weeks to 9 hour weeks. i was so BROKE. That manager quit. I started  looking for another job because i was just so damn done with the place...and i found one, so i was debating whether i wanted to stay and work both or not. so, we got our 3rd manager within the time i'd been there, but i actually love working with him so i stayed. On top of that, i also have another job at Noodles & Company and i absolutely adore it. I mostly work front-of-the-house, so i'm a server/cashier, and everyone i work with is so great. Everyone is positive and encouraging, it's a seriously awesome work environment. So i now have not one but two jobs that i love...it's really nice. like really nice.

In the other sides of my life...i've started doing a little more on Psychotic Reaction Radio, i now get to choose my own 4 songs every week which is rad :) and i finally made money from modelling. Someone requested a signed print of me, so i also signed my first autograph! How sick is that?! I also finally hit 1k on Instagram...i don't really do the "share for shares" or follow apps, so most of these people just follow me for me. it's kind of like "damn, a thousand people think i'm cool?!" even if we don't include the 500 or so that i also follow, that's still 500 people. i remember when NO ONE liked me...so yeah, that's a pretty big deal for me!

my life isn't perfect, and some of my "friends" may not take what i do seriously...but it feels damn good that the things i take the most seriously are actually getting somewhere. I was made fun of for almost everything about myself throughout life...and now, i've finally started getting positive recognition for simply being me!

Now it's really time to get back in business.

I've officially started the journey of un-fucking myself.