update [hair, accounts, random stuff]

hey, my hair's purple again! awesome for me, my job didnt care.

i feel a lot better with purple in my hair.

Photography - Nicko [with close ups]

got to shoot my baby today :) i missed photography.

if i actually owned a dslr i'd do it alot more.

these were taken with a Canon Rebel

Mini Photoshoot ft. custom tail by Dead Dogma!

photos by Nick :)

you can see it a little bit :) it's got a clip, a pewter heartagram pendant, chains and plastic bones, measured to my height and made from high quality faux fur :) completely custom made, i adore it.

if you like my tail, i'm sure it would be rad to get your own, eh?

contact Dead Dogma for details :) 

Dogma is currently taking commissions for both custom tails and drawings!

TorySalem.tumblr.com

Facebook.com/DogmaCanum

mini-photoshoot [[+new hair!]]

(all photos taken by Nick)

i dyed my hair brown recently :) these were taken the other day on me & nick's 4 year anniversarry,

my boyfriend is a pretty awesome photographer :D

"bailamor" painting + speedpainting video

finished my Esmeralda cosplay!!

this last photo is my favorite :)

i did what i thought was most realistic:

skirt from Nu Image, hip scarf from a bellydance store, waiste sincher from Ebay and shirt from a local thrift store :)

the jewelry i got for a dollar each in the mall.

i've gotten great feedback so far :D

tell me what you think?!

random pictures

Freestyle Dance - Love Without Tears by HIM (no edit)

subscribe to me on YouTube if you havent :) i'll sub back if you let me know ♥

#OOTD: Glamdana

listening to so much glam rock lately just makes me wanna go back to that era i missed and live it up...but unfortunately there are no time machines, so i'll just have to settle for rocking a bandana a few times a week :) and i have one in every color xx

#OOTD: GothGypsy

older outfit, i forgot to post it

but i love it ^_^

i dont know.

 it really sucks when no one gives a real fuck about you. i've been so borderline these past few weeks and not a single person actually cares... i always deal with other people's problems but no one ever gives a damn about mine. i almost never want to talk about what i'm going through, but when i do, nobody listens. they either talk over me, give one or two word responses, or just revert back to themselves and how their problems mean so much more than mine. whether its good or bad feelings, no one gives a single, misuscule shit. and it sucks. i'm alone all the time, and its depressing. i dont hang out with or talk to guys like other girls do, so i cant hang out with girls because they're always with guys. nick is all i have, and he gets mad at me for wanting to hang out with him all the time. i just wish someone really cared. enough to just hang out with me/me & other girls and have fun. i cant expect other people to adapt to my situation and i dont. and i dont ask anyone to. i'm not even close enough to anyone to ask them to do something with me. i'm not close to anyone. they say they're close to me, but i dont feel close to them i'm not comfortable asking anyone to hang out with me. it sucks seeing all the tagged photos on facebook of all my freinds new and old hanging out with eachother, and i have to sit there and see it and be okay with it, while i sit in my room alone. if i dissappeared, it most likely wouldnt matter to anybody. nothing in life would change for really anyone. and that thought in itself is depressing. but what does it matter? it doesnt... i just might as well not care about anything. so i guess i just wont..

Mini-Photoshoot

went to a car meet with Nick today and he had his DSLR so he took some pretty bad-ass photos of me :D i feel awesome in these~

freestyle dance/edits (radioactive by imagine dragons)

 so, this is how i dance...most people dont even know i dance now or that i ever have, but its a passion of mine. i made this video 2 days ago and put it on facebook and got some great feedback from my dancer and non-dancer friends...so why not commit social suicide and put it on youtube lol  i'm not looking for critiques, so please dont. if you like it, say it, if you don't...well i'm not a proffessional and dont plan to be but i also get discouraged easily, and this is something im not necessarily all that confident in so anything mean you say WILL hurt my feelings haha the original caption from the facebook post is below this, explains my dance history and what-not...enjoy it if you can

i'm overdue for a massive update.

been super busy lately so i need to make one. i have many things to update on so, it'll be soon :) very soon.

Outfit of the Day - #emogurlswag

obvious title is obvious...i just look super emo here xD

but i looove my outfit :D and how i did my hair,

i felt cute :3 it happens.

i finally got my skeleton tights in the mail,

so i had to make an outfit! 

this was the result :)

random pictures

Happy St.Patrick's Day

♣♧ⒻⒺⒺⓁⒾⓃⒼ ⓁⓊⒸⓀⓎ♧♣ ~ ｆｕｎ make-up for St.Patrick's Day!

Happy St.Pat's! i made this cute make-up tutorial (the second one i've ever made) with some cute/pretty make up for the holiday :)  its pretty, simple, but still with a little bling :3 i hope you enjoy my video!

dedicated to Melonie because the song is by Kerli ♥

i let Nicko do my make up! (+YouTube video)

Minun onni on teidän käsissänne (singing)

i wrote this song in 2010, the lyrics are on this blog... curious to how it sounds? click play :)

Making my own clip-in extensions [[+video]]

 i think they turned out pretty cute :) i'd been wanting purple extensions for a while now and bought them on a whim. they werent clip-ins, so i bought clips and made them clip-ins myself :D i tried to record the whole process, but it effed up -_- but i got one of the second ones recorded! and i talked about what i did. i hope you guys like it :D here's some pictures :3

this is my new signature pose :)

Meshuggah! [[pictures]]

Jens Kidman

if you couldnt tell, i had a fucking BLAST!!!

and thats my new friend Hannah :) she's rad

Poem - Teena(n)g(st)ers

parties are no longer fun and games fighting over spilled milk is no longer a serious thing you're weird if you play with dolls, and the word "toy" has an all new meaning    so does everything else deciding every day what you're taking from your closet pants or a shirt, a jacket a skeleton, or your sexuality and which one of those things you want the most attention for you're worried about outdoing each other while you're all out doing each other some even creating new lives within their new lives and not thinking about how it will affect your life, when really, you don't even have one because every move you make is social suicide and you can't choose your friends, because your actions choose them for you the teen age, is teen angst and that's all it'l ever be it'll be the 7/10ths of a decade where you lived more than you should have            the 7/10ths of life you'll remember hating the most            the 7/10ths of a time where you wished you were dead     and the 7/10ths you'd give the world to go back to because the teen age is all angst and that's all it'll ever be.

Poem - Scripted

i still live in a world where snowflakes are potatoes where the sun is really a spotlight and every morning is a curtain call every person you walk past is a character all their own, their parents taking rights as co-authors and ever person near as directors though only you can decide whether you're the protagonist or antagonist or maybe just an extra - for now and that your spin-off is soon to come doesn't it all make sense? since according to the Book, our lives could be truly scripted wardrobe is one of my favorites, hair and make up is a close second because i feel I'm a character myself and if life is really a stage, then to stealing the show is my place maybe this is my big break...

Poem - Finger Swirl

Finger swirl, loving twirl hand embrace, hearts at pace its me and you and it's never untrue a symbol since before we ever met.
finger swirl, feelings-a-whirl minds erase, lost in space its you and me a together, we will never let anyone take that away.
finger swirl, bodies curl unfamiliar place, just in case its me and you and we fit; you knew a destiny if there's one i've ever felt,

Poem - Namesake

it was odd when i noticed your eyes were green i  realized that as much as i love you, that i really hadn't payed enough attention. i never thought about how it might make you feel, that I'm always saying how much i hate my name, when i a your namesake attempting to imagine how many quarters you've given me over the course of nearly a score every time we'd visit a store and now I'm realize you're more than four... and i should have appreciated you more. you were the first person i ever saw the mother of my mother, who saw me before my own mom you were my first best friend, more often, my only one... and despite your good health, i still tear when i think of the chances of you ever meeting my children. because i want you to live forever if anyone could, it would be you i hope you surpass Abraham and i almost hope my mom does too because after everything that's happened, and all that you've been through, if anyone deserves true longevity Grandma, it's you.

Poem - Late Night Fight

i don't deserves the words you give me and i know that i try far too hard       you know       you judge and i don't care for your flaws,        i'd expect you to feel the same but it's unfortunate, for me, you'll never see me for my efforts. and my littlest mistake, you find me so horrid    Bad    Intolerable    Terrible    Childish    Harlot you give me these definitions, and thier simply your connotations and so untrue, because you know i'm true and i wish you'd treat me that way    Catty    Hindering    Immature    Liar    Dear... why do you do it? why do you think i deserve it...

Poem - Friendship Mountain

it was a "once upon a time" a when-we-were-young a 7 year old with a theory told the boy with blue eyes "if you plant a pebble like a seed in the gravel by the wood that it grows into more" he didn't believe me, not until we were both 10 when he pulled me aside at recess after a sad happening and we sat on the wood, and he told me that he remembered and asked me if i did, and he dug a hole, then set the pebble in together, we spread a heet of rocks over the seed it was a sunny friday, in spring that monday, there was a hill of fresh, new rocks s we left the school doors, his blue eyes widened, as did my smile our seed had blossomed into a beatiful mountain and our friendship did as well and i was content in knowing that my philosophy created a gravel hill

Poem - Irrelevance

the sense isn't there no, not for me because i do not understand how you are supposed to create if you aren't allowed to feel.
if you can't, where do you go?                      what do you do?                     what do you see?                                        hear?                                      touch?
                                 if not a heart...
how do i achieve empathy?             possible sympathy?             a type of telepathy? if you can't give others something to relate to
    how do you understand                          each other,                      or anything at all?
call it what you want; feelings | emotions | sentiments | irrelevance      but no matter what,           i think you're wrong.                   that, and beyond.

summer?

summer? by xoaeribaby featuring lace tops

Poem - This Ring

this ring so simple, sweet and real this ring respresents everything we feel this ring on me, it's all i've ever wanted this ring turns a leaf, of a past no longer haunted this ring and the diamond, like the glimmer in your eye this ring tell me, there's a happy reason to cry this ring reminds me of you on one knee this ring it means there'll always be a "you and me" this ring lets me know that your sight will never wander this ring i a step that takes most men longer to ponder this ring is a toast to our amazing new lives this ring makes me ecstatic for when the moment arrives*

Poem - Coffee & Butter

when i sit alone, i imagine you there with your Otter mustache and your long, willow hair imagining a vivid, a splendid life with you, and mornings filled with Coffee and Butter.
when i see trees, i remember those photos of me you took, in the yard, behind your house and climbing over the gate with your mother's camera how you said you thought my smile was pretty
remembering the first time we said "i love you" and the poem you wrote me only days before the candy and soda on a Saturday morning when i was 16, and you still walked to my house
when I'm at home by myself, and i want to cry  i wish for you, to gaze into your wide, star-burst eyes imagining a vivid, a splendid life with you, and mornings filled with Coffee and Butter.
i hope we stay this way; together, for all time to write each other vows, buy a house, and call you mine just to sleep next to you, without our parents to object you and i, we are beyond just "i love you"
ever since those pleasant memories, so many more pleasant happenings, just the thought of us "happening"
i pray that you can see it in my face, and feel it too because there will not one person I'll ever adore as much as you you may not believe it, but it's true if only you truly knew
when i daydream, all i see is your face caressing your chin, in a full-armed embrace imagining a vivid, a splendid life with you, and endless mornings filled with Coffee and Butter.

Poem - No One

in bed, she lies; she stares to the blank, white sky; off-white i  n  s  i  d  e no sun.
stepping down from her own safety suit, cringing a her feet hit the floor, almost fearing life o   u   t   s   i   d   e no more.
forgetting to remove yesterday's mask, the faded make-up, like faded energy i   n   s   i   d   e no thoughts.
nothing but tired, and needing more sleep the inability, inevitably; insomnia i  n  s  i  d  e no rest.
mind astray. array, askew, unlike her eyes somehow embarrassed, yet remaining unnoticed o  u  t  s  i  d  e no one.

Poem - (not) a New Start

it was sunny and warm, but it felt frozen, somewhat bleak; i felt bare.       new walls;       new halls;    a new hell. it was like a fairytale;       all too familiar,  and just as unkind. off-white bricks old foam ceilings vile tiles, a floor so common and most people, all the same.      just as before. there are no maps for this journey, just like there wasn't the last time "is this really what you want?" take the chance. do your art. what a  waste.

{my 1,400th post} Poem - g [c] l a s s e s

classes, glasses, lessons and life the torture of school, it's strain and it's gripe even in a room where it's okay to rhyme i can't help but feel out of place all the time

everyone here is either dark or light,
despite who i am, in the middle of the two
who knows
i think it's odd?
that's how i feel, and now you know

classes, glasses, lessons and life the torture of school, it's strain and it's gripe even in a room where it's okay to rhyme i can't help but feel out of place all the time  

i'm late
a year late
everything is late
i hate to be late,
now i'm late forever.
i try to do my best,
but i can't turn back time

classes, glasses, lessons and life the torture of school, it's strain and it's gripe even in a room where it's okay to rhyme i can't help but feel out of place all the time  

my confidence is gone
is there intellect at all?
why not, in the opinion of all who watched me fall
its like i'm empty in there,
like an acorn, but with hair
minus the acorn,
added a body

classes, glasses, lessons and life the torture of school, it's strain and it's gripe even in a room where it's okay to rhyme i can't help but feel out of place all the time  

i just want to paint
to write;
to draw;
to sing;
to live in a world
that runs on hearts instead of brains
if this place isn't real,
then it will be one day
and if i have to do it myself,
i will
and do it my way

  classes, glasses, lessons and life the torture of school, it's strain and it's gripe even in a room where it's okay to rhyme i can't help but feel out of place all the time  

not everyone is like me
and really, that's fine
like many others, i don't like me most of the time
i wish i could pass school,
that people thought i was "cool"
but i'm too old for these juvenile dreams

the time is up, it's time to go
it's time to grow
i'm 20 years old, old enough to know

  classes, glasses, lessons and life the torture of school, it's strain and it's gripe even in a room where it's okay to rhyme i can't help but feel out of place all the time   and that's fine.        

Poem - Dear, Charlie

send me golden dollars

     to hold in my hands

          so i can feel the embossing of her face.

 

give me your hand

     and put it in mine

          because i'm too young to cross alone in your eyes.

let me read old comics

     in your daughters old room

          so i can feel the past through your thoughts.

 

come to my wedding

     and sit there, front row and center

          whether or not you're alive.

"like" my facebook page!

made myself a nifty cover photo :)

click the picture!

Poem - Coconut Soda (Christmas in Bed)

Coconut soda, absent for years a gift that nearly brought me to tears i want to say, "if only she knew" but this is mi hermana, an out-of-the-norm, too   it couldn't be more thoughtful, so unexpected, so dear although reluctant, i still held her near   i couldn't tell what it was, at a glance, maybe booze, but at only 15, that possibility was shrew   i thought it was cream soda, maybe the beer of root, but the only root here, was my heart.   ah,  n  o  s  t  a  l  g  i  a   my childhood love my all-time favorite soda, from an unexpected one.   we may not always get along, but you know, times like these remind me that we're still family and tells me there's still a love   we say we hate each other, but its a lie. and it's obvious, too still no one in my life is as thoughtful as you   it was special, it was sweet, it was important and meaningful to me and i hope you realize my excitement, because my happiness is hard to find and you found it in glass, with carbon inside.   i don't remember Puerto Rico, but i feel as if i do, i can love it, treasure it, taste it and i wish i always could   it may seem minuscule, but the littlest of things.... they're always best.   one single bottle, green, shining glass tastes like The Island, and good times, alas   I'll thank you forever and I'll never forget coconut soda on Christmas, in bed.

Acrostic - Mooki

My baby, my sleep Of peace Of sweet Kisses, for me? I remember the beginning
My pain, my heart Of breaks Of parts Kisses, for me? I remember the beginning
My love, my soul Of beauty Of whole Kneeling, for me? I remember the beginning

Outfit of the day (ft. red boots!)

 

shirt: Rude undershirt: Fallas Paredes Jeans: wetseal [graffiti by Nick] legwarmers: generic boots: off-brand